While subbing at The Gordon School and Wheeler, I was happy to see that there was real consideration and sensitivity around gender identity. It was the norm for teachers to introduce themselves with their pronouns, and middle school students would often share theirs as well. For younger students, parents could note pronouns on forms, and students were also free to share if they wanted. Teachers who didn’t identify with Ms., Mrs., Miss, or Mr. were able to create their own titles, which led to names like Teacher Sam, Captain Lana, and Mx. Walsh.
There were also many discussions about gender identity at the middle school level, and several students asked to be called by their preferred names. I do think there could be more structured support and more intentional conversations about gender identity and sexuality, especially for middle schoolers who are actively figuring these things out. At one school, there was a nursery-aged boy who would share clothes with his sister and often wore dresses. What stood out most was that no one commented on it—it was simply accepted that Theo wore dresses sometimes. Another thing that I liked was that all the student bathrooms were mixed gender, though there were single stall bathrooms for students that felt uncomfortable. For the changing rooms at the gym, they designated the changing rooms for those that identified as each gender, again with a private stall for anyone to use.
At my current school, teachers do include their pronouns in introductions, and we have names like Teacher S and Mx. L. Students are generally very accepting, though they sometimes slip up and default to “Miss” when addressing Teacher S.
For students, I think we are open in theory to them sharing their pronouns, but it’s not something that is proactively encouraged or normalized. I’ve had one student ask me to use “they,” but I’ve noticed they haven’t asked others, which makes me wonder if they don’t feel fully supported in doing so.
I hope that my students remember me as accepting and supportive. 
Hi Sam! Your blog was so insightful to read. I completely agree with you in that I want to be a teacher that always accepts my students and is completely open to how they want to express themselves. I also really liked your comic. It shows how children are naturally more accepting than when they begin to grow up and see how others judge people.
ReplyDeleteSam, I really liked your post! Even though it was a little sad your student didn't share thoughts with other students, it is great that they trust you to share thoughts with. Being trustworthy as a teacher is such an honor especially with tough problems like this. Having the ability to share aspects of each others lives will make it easier to understand each other!
ReplyDeleteHello Sam! I enjoyed your perspective contrasting the different ways this topic is handled from your experience at various schools. I loved your closing line "I hope that my students remember me as accepting and supportive." THIS - 100x THIS!
ReplyDeleteHi Sam, I really loved your post this week. I truly believe people should not go into education if they are not willing to be accepting of each child/student, period. I second Mark with loving your closing line, I think that makes you a perfect fit for teaching and it is refreshing to hear. I also love hearing that teachers who don't want to go by Miss or Mrs. can be referred to as teacher xyz, or what have you. Teachers should be comfortable too.
ReplyDeleteI'm also affirmed by the acceptance of pronoun use and broader understandings of gender identity in the schools I've subbed at. I appreciate the example of teachers and staff able to express their identity in safety, and provide students opportunities to enrich their understanding of identity. I've started to wear a pronoun pin and a pride flag pin, and it's been a conversation starter with some students, and a beacon for others who approach me with excitement to share about themselves.
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